Aamir Khan is a one-of-a-kind superstar. One can ask him any question and he’ll surely answer it truthfully and in detail, without mincing awards. A group of journalists got a chance to see that first-hand when during a group interaction held as part of the promotions of Sitaare Zameen Par. Aamir opened up about the red flags that he discovered during his therapy sessions.
Aamir Khan opens up about his red flag; reveals that his passive-aggressive behaviour STRAINED his relationship with Juhi Chawla for 7 years: “Reena Dutta told me, ‘What are you doing? End the matter with her. Kya bachpana hai yeh?’”
Aamir Khan began by saying, “I am a very soft and loving person. But I also had red flags and maybe, I still do. There was a big red flag in me which I have addressed. When I used to be angry or hurt by my loved ones, I used to shut down myself. If I was upset with Reena or Kiran (ex-wives Reena Dutta and Kiran Rao), I used to be so hurt that I would stop talking to them. There would be steel shutters all around me. Poor Reena and Kiran would try their best. Woh mujhe manana chaha rahen hain ya mujhse maafi maangna chaha rahen hain. But I used to not allow it. They won’t be able to reach out to me. They’d feel like they were talking to a wall. It’s a very big red flag, that a man has inflated his ego to such a level that he’s not ready to get down my moral high horse.”
He revealed, “One day, Kiran did something – I don’t remember – and it upset me a lot. I stopped talking to her for 3 days. She kept trying but I was ignoring her, as if she didn’t exist in my life. Itna hard aadmi kaise ho sakta hai? On the third or fourth night, bechari she started crying. She was like ‘Mujhe samaj nahin aa raha main kya karoon aapke saath? Aap jawab hi nahin de rahe hai. Aapne toh zindagi se cut hi kar diya hai. Aisa maine kya kar diya?’.”
Aamir added, “While she was crying, even I felt bad. I asked myself, ‘Aamir, tu itna kathor kaise ban sakta hai? She’s trying to genuinely reach out to you. Talk to her. Khatam kar jhagde ko. Don’t be so childish’. Yet, mere andar se woh words nahin nikle that ‘Its ok Kiran. Let it be’. Nikal hi nahin raha tha! This was a very big red flag. I was very unforgiving.”
Aamir Khan continued, “Passive-aggressive – that’s the word I was looking at. I would show my anger but I am not shouting. I go silent. If you shout, your partner will be relieved that chalo, isne chilla diya aur baat khatam ho gayi. But when you become passive-aggressive, the partner will be unable to deal with it.”
He also said that his relationship with Juhi Chawla suffered saying, “I didn’t speak to Juhi for seven long years. That was also due to my passive-aggressive behaviour. Reena told me so many times, ‘What are you doing? End the matter with her. Kya bachpana hai yeh? Move on. People make mistakes. You also make mistakes, don’t you?’. I replied, ‘Yes, I do’. Still, I remained adamant. So, I had a lot of flaws in me which I was able to overcome, thanks to therapy.”
Aamir Khan made the situation lighter by saying, “Have you seen Raja Hindustani (1996)? I am like Raja Hindustani (laughs). I have a lot of his qualities. When Raja used to get angry, he would not even look at her, even when she was talking to her. I used to do the same with Kiran.”
He ended his answer by saying, “It’s not easy to deal with an emotional person like me. That’s the moral of the story (laughs).”
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